I was feeling relatively uninspired when it came time to write today’s post, but once I remembered how much I had pretending it was 2006 and filling out Myspace surveys a few weeks ago, I figured it was time to do it again! Today’s survey is all things “love” related, so you know it’s going to be 100% absurd given that these questions were probably compiled by a group of pre-teens in a passive aggressive attempt to get their crush to read their bulletin (remember bulletins!?!?). Let’s see how ridiculous this is…
1) Single, Taken, or Crushing
- Taken, but I like the term “crushing” because I just imagine someone Hulk smashing another person because they don’t know what to do with their feelings.
2) Are you happy with who you are?
- Well this took a turn, but yes.
3) When you meet the right person, do you fall fast?
- I once thought the “right person” was Taylor Hanson, and that escalated quickly! So, yes.
4) Have you ever had your heart broken?
- When Taylor Hanson got married.
5) Do you believe that there are certain circumstances where cheating is ok?
- Unless the third party is Jude Law, then no.
6) Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you?
- That depends. Did I get a horse or a castle as part of the apology? Or both?!?!!
7) Have you talked about marriage with another person?
- I once told Jake that if we ever get married I would like Chipotle to cater our wedding, and that’s about the extent of the conversation.
8) Do you want children?
- A cat? Yes.
11) If somebody liked you right now, what do you think is a cool way to let you know?
- Morse code.
12) Do you enjoy playing hard to get?
- If by hard to get you mean “never telling anyone your feelings because that’s gross”, then yes.
13) Be honest, do you play the “game” when you are dating?
- Jake and I play the Life board game on his phone a lot when we go out to eat. Does that count?
14) Do you believe love at first sight exists?
- I have never seen Jude Law in person, but yeah I guess.
15) Are you romantic?
- I have made a few mix CDs in my day, so yes.
16) Do you believe that you can change someone?
- If I have learned anything Divorce Court, no, no you cannot!
17) If you could get married anywhere, money not an object, where would it be?
- At Chipotle, but the reception would be at Skatetown.
18) Do you have feelings for someone right now?
- YEAH I GUESS.
19) Have you ever wished you could’ve had someone but you couldn’t?
- Wasn’t that the point of high school, or?
20) Have you ever broken a heart?
- That’s a laugh!
21) Would you ever fight somebody over your significant other?
- Jake knows I have the upper body strength of two angel hair pasta, so hopefully he never puts me in the position to have someone in his honor.
22) What would you say about your last ex?
Oh Myspace surveys, you always deliver! I’m pretty sure I took this same quiz in 2005, but answered it honestly like a moron. I recently tried to log in to my old Myspace, but they changed the format to the point where it’s impossible to retrieve any old photos or posts. Thanks a lot, Tom! It’s probably for the best though. The amount of second hand embarrassment and cringing I would experience from old selfies and ridiculous bulletins would be too much. Is there a photoshopped of myself and John Mayer out there? Yes, yes there is, but 17 year old Mallory was ALL about it and I’m sorry.