If there is anything that has completely wreaked havoc on my posture, whilst helping me be an adult in this world and pay bills, it’s working in a cubicle. If you are unfamiliar with what a cubicle is, it is essentially tiny walls that you are allowed to decorate with photos of your kids that haven’t been updated in well over six years, and a space designated for
rage quitting out of Internet Explorer every fifteen minutes working. Like anything else, there are pros and cons, but today I thought I’d share the little annoyances I seem to encounter day in and day out at my desk. Bonus points to anyone who is reading this at their cubicle.
- Why is my desk always so dusty? I’ll wipe it down one morning, and come back the next day only to have it look like I am returning to it thirty years after the apocalypse.
- Your first computer that had AOL dial-up and was constantly crashing because The Sims was taking up so space was more efficient than what you are currently using at work.
- Free sticky notes are great, but free sticky notes with the adhesive quality of a Rose Art glue stick from 1997 is not great.
- I can’t adjust the arm height on my chair, so I constantly look like a king at the head of a table.
- Bringing in Breaking Bad magnets to personalize your desk, and then having to explain to a coworker that Los Pollos Hermanos is not a real place, and you really aren’t that hyped about fried chicken.
- Subsequently having to explain Breaking Bad to your coworker.
- Stretching out your feet and accidentally unplugging your computer.
- Shout out to the following people:
- Person who grinds their coffee beans at their desk. The beeest part of waking up, is Foldger’s in your cu—RRIINNNGNGGZZZRRCHHHHHHH.
- Guy who reheats fish in the microwave at lunch. My life has been a mess ever since Bath & Body Works stopped carrying “Three Day Old Salmon”, but thankfully you’re leftovers have given me the gift of that scent back.
- Person who has left a jar of pimento cheese in the break room fridge since December. Are you conducting a science experiment, or are you just gross?
- Forgetting to get up and walk around every hour, and then ending up feeling an astronaut on the moon when you stand for the first time in four hours.
- Trying and failing at turning your trash can upside down to make it a DIY ottoman.
- When your office is trying to go paperless, but you still have more paper documents than your entire public school career.
- Everyone around you is talking about the latest sports news, and your only sports knowledge comes from multiple viewings of Space Jam, and brief period of time your sister was super into hockey in the late 90’s.
Feel free to share a few of your cubicle nightmares in the comments! I’ll catch you all tomorrow with a new Stridebox review! And if you’re reading this at your desk, let this serve as your reminder that you should probably get up and walk around now.