I was the kind of kid who entered to be in the Lisa Frank catalog ultimate fan section numerous times (as seen above), only to be outdone by other children who probably didn’t look like they were aiming for the “Nick Nolte mugshot” when styling their hair that day.
I was the kind of kid who was emotionally invested in the television show Cheers.
I was the kind of kid who had zero athletic ability, and who did so poorly during 7th grade basketball tryouts, lost out to a girl who straight up vomited during the tryout and still made it.
I was the kind of kid who used to reenact the Mary Katherine Gallagher sketches from SNL at school and then be politely asked to stop by a teacher.
I was the kind of kid who once wrote a letter to American Girl asking them to lower their prices because they were “unreasonable.”
I was the kind of kid who when given a part in the second grade play, demanded that my character (who was nameless), be named Mary-Kate Olsen.
I was the kind of kid who once wore flared jeans with stars stenciled on the ankle, a tank top with a watercolor design of a pack wild horses, and a pound of body glitter to her first dance. #fashion
I was the kind of kid who while at a middle school band camp dance (I could not have more working against me here) made a friend ask a boy who I slow danced with to be my boyfriend. Where was I? In the bathroom hiding. He said yes and we spoke to each other a whopping two times (Introducing each other, and then goodbye when the dance ended) . We also forgot to break up with each before camp ended, and I am proud to say that we have been going silently strong for nearly twelve years.
I was the kind of kid who in fourth grade wrote “I got home late” on a homework assignment and turned it in partially finished.
I was the kind of kid who just wanted to be left to alone so they could watch reruns of I Love The 80’s and eat a hoard of Babybel cheese wheels in peace…oh wait, that’s still true.