I Want to Go to There: Dumb Summer Bucket List

Happy Wednesday, friends!  I hope you all have managed to survive the first half of your week with out any disasters and calamities. I endured twenty minutes on the phone at work with an angry man with a shouty New England accent, so that was nice. I spent most of today, as I do most days, thinking about hot wings, and looking up fun things to do this summer, which led to the destinations/activities for today’s post. If you are familiar with you Pinterest, then I’m sure you have seen a few of these “bucket list” photos in the travel tag, and sometimes in the Hair & Beauty tag because a fourteen year old tagged it incorrectly.

I don't know anyone with an outside dining room table with that kind of view.

How do teens get dinner reservations at a vineyard???

Some are cute. Some are super dumb. I found a few that I’d actually like to try out this summer, and a couple to make fun of because I like to capitalize on the moronic ideas of teenagers who go into every summer thinking it will be a grand adventure. You know how I spent my summers in high school? Flute private lessons and working without pay as my mother’s personal maid. I’d like to say it helped me build character, but instead it led me to Clorox wipe everything around within a five foot radius. I’m rambling here. Let’s get to it.

  • Go to a Drive-In
Little do they know, they accidentally bought tickets to a showing of "Postcards From The Edge."

Little do they know, they accidentally bought tickets to a showing of “Postcards From The Edge.”

I’ve actually wanted to do this one for awhile, but up until recently, I thought the nearest drive-in was over an hour away. Unbeknownst to me, there is actually one in Ft. Worth, which isn’t too far from me! As someone who grew up with, how do I put this nicely…older parents…I hear all the time about how magical drive-ins were, and how drive-ins never upset Mom’s asthma unlike the nearby Tinseltown which has been slow cooking some serious asbestos for the past fifteen years. The main incentive for me is the opportunity to bring my own meal to a movie. The amount of times I’ve been told to throw away my food before a movie is both outrageous and a little embarrassing. I know what you must be thinking, “Mallory, why not just hide your food in your purse?” Well find me a purse that can hold a $5 Bag O Burgers from Braum’s and then we’ll talk (for the record I’ve never brought Braum’s to a movie. Wendy’s? Yes.). Not to mention I can adjust my own seat and if the person nearby is talking and distracting me from the film, I can casually lay my hand on the horn until they decide to stop talking. I once sat behind a kid during a movie who would randomly pull out his phone and Instagram 15 second selections from the film. If this is his idea of “pirating” then someone should really pull him aside, but what I’m getting at is that moronic audience members often ruin the experience for me, so the confinement of my own vehicle might be a bit more enjoyable.

  • Drinking vodka with a straw
Adults who do this are called "alcoholics" btw.

Adults who do this are called “alcoholics” btw.

I almost don’t even have any commentary for this one. I’m assuming this idea came from a high schooler who recently binge watched Gossip Girl and assumed that this is cool. Granted, anyone at that age probably has the ability to bounce back from a hangover in 8 hours or less, whereas I would have to exhaust the rest of my vacation time at work to stay in home in absolute darkness, clutching my abdomen, and crying tears that are 100% grain alcohol until I recovered. 18-21 year old me would be so disappointed to hear this, 23 year old me is 1000% over going out and getting completely obliterated. I mean, this was me on my 21st birthday

I have no idea who this is.

I have no idea who this is.

And now I’m currently listening to NPR, and waiting till 9 pm so I can take my melatonin. What I’m getting at is that “drinking vodka through a straw” is a chapter now closed in my life, not that I don’t think it was ever a chapter title in my life. “Two Bottles of Wine at My Sister’s Wedding & One Single’s Ladies Dance Later…” might be more applicable, but you get it.

  • Spend a whole day with my sister
My sister and I are not this hip.

My sister and I are not this hip.

Now this one is nice! My sister came home a couple weekends ago for her birthday, so I guess this one was already accomplished! I’m assuming the girls in the photo probably spent the day at a pipe shop, and then took selfies with hobos for the rest of the day. My sister and I went to a hot yoga class, a juice bar, and then spent the rest of the afternoon with our grandparents, and did this

HQ shot of us not being adults.

HQ shot of us not being adults.

So that’s our idea of a “fun day”. Though, if I did have to plan another fun day to add to the bucket list, I’m sure we’d watch movies, put glasses on our cat and laugh about it for 25-30 minutes, cook something we discovered on Pinterest, and find some sort of outside activity. We have put glasses on our cat though, and it was hilarious. 

  • Have a rap battle
check my style~*~

check my style~*~

I don’t understand why this one has to be designated to just a summer bucket list. Is rapping a seasonal activity? I don’t remember 8 Mile taking place at a summer camp, although if a freestyle summer camp exists, how do I go about attending this? Actually, you know what? I’ll start my own. I’ll draft a proposal and consult 2 Chainz on co-running the camp. I’m thinking Wet Hot American Summer meets Hustle & Flow? Instead of arts and crafts we’ll have “Parking Garage Acoustics”, and cycle between New Jack City and Boyz In The Hood on movie night. I think I’m on to something great, you guys…

Well that’s one installment of my Summer Bucket List! I’m hoping to make this a series throughout summer, but we’ll see. Hope you all have a great rest of the week, and please someone get back to me on this freestyle camp idea…

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