I Want to Go to There: Albuquerque/Breaking Bad Tour

Well, we’ve reached it. Wednesday. The work week is almost over my friends. I hope you are staying strong and none your coworkers did the “Mike Mike Mike Mike guess what day its??!?!” bit today. I know people mean well with that joke, but they do know that literally everyone hates them for doing it, right? That being said, let’s stop thinking about work, and dive into another IWTGTTW (one day this won’t look so weird to me).

As many of you may or may not (most likely not since I’ve never mentioned it) know, I am a huge Breaking Bad. Like, converted several people to the show, have a Los Pollos Hermanos magnet at my work desk, going to name my next cat Heisenberg, kind of fan. The show has been over awhile now (yet my wounds are still fresh, Vince Gilligan), but apparently the Breaking Bad tours in Albuquerque, New Mexico are still going strong! While I’ve been to the ABQ before, I should note I was seven and had no idea I would later fall in love with a show about meth later in life. Props to me for never falling in love with actual meth (D.A.R.E. ya’ll). I would love to revisit and go on a BB tour! I’ve looked into it, there’s actually quite a few you can go on! I found this article on conducting (or TWEAKING rather. That was dumb. I’m sorry) your own tour, which to be honest, I’d much rather do. I’m not really a fan of guided tours. Let me get lost and wikipedia facts myself, champ. I got this. Thankfully this article compiles the addresses of the necessary stops:

  • The White’s House 
God bless that puke green Aztec.

God bless that puke green Aztec.

An actual person lives in this house now, so I’d imagine I’d have to be pretty stealthy to reenact the infamous pizza scene on their driveway. Maybe if I offer to buy them their own pizza they’d be cool with it? God what if they don’t like pizza? This plan is already falling apart.

  • The Grove
Enjoy that Stevia, Lydia.

Enjoy that Stevia, Lydia.

Without spoiling too much, this cafe is the setting for one of the best acts of vengeance ever. I would like to visit this place, order a hot tea, and maybe strike a deal with the leader of a drug empire. If not that, maybe thwart the advances of my white supremacist apprentice. I’m open to ideas.

  • Twister’s (Los Pollos Hermanos)
Also a good place to dispose of your Go Phone.

Also a good place to dispose of your Go Phone.

Twister’s, the actual restaurant that served as the setting for Los Pollos Hermanos, is actually burger and burrito joint! Strange combination, but I can work with it, and as you can imagine, I was quite delighted to learn that this establishment is not run by an emotionally void meth kingpin! I’m normally delighted to learn this about most places, but given that the character of Gus Fring is scarier to me than all of my fears combined, I’d rather not bump into anyone of that nature while enjoying a fast food burrito. I will be honest though, I’m a little disappointed that Twister’s doesn’t serve fried chicken, but I’m assuming that had the writers of BB stuck with the actual menu, Los Burritos Hermanos probably would not have resonated so well withe audience. Burritos Brothers? Hmm no.

While there are several places to check out (Hank and Marie’s house, the park where Mike watches his granddaughter, Saul’s nail spa, etc) these are the top spots I would definitely check out first. Thanks for tagging along on this IWTGTTW, and just to end this post on another tacky BB shout out, and something you can definitely shout out annoying coworker sometime this week, “maybe your best course would be to tread lightly.”

Actually, don’t say that. You’ll probably get fired for threatening someone at the workplace.

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