“Lower your expectations” – Me, when introducing myself to most people.

ImageHi, this is  me, Mallory. I’m the one above who looks like they just participated in Holi. It was actually a low budget interpretation of the Color Run, but you get it. Anyways, hello. I’ve lost count, but I’m figuring that this is somewhere within the 5-15th attempt of me starting a blog. It first started with a blogspot account in 2002, that may have had a URL inspired by Avril Lavigne, and if you think you are above liking Avril Lavigne you can leave. Right now. I didn’t say you have to support her sham engagement to ramen noodle hair enthusiast, and resident white trash musician, Chad Kroeger, but we can all unite here in a mutual love for her weird early 2000’s obsession with men’s skinny ties.

But I digress.

What I’d like to do here, is what I do best, try my hand at something my sister is doing, but poorly execute it as much as possible. I’m kidding. I’d like to have a few theme days. I feel like that will always give something to talk about, rather than my feelings, which are few and far between because I am actually a robot and nothing makes me more uncomfortable than getting emotional.

Now, what are the themes, you ask? You didn’t, but I’d like to pretend you did because I’m narcissist who needs to feel important. I’m thinking I could spend one post each week on TV recaps, preferably TV shows that have been off the air for a solid twenty years and are widely regarded as being terrible. You may be asking yourself (and once again, you aren’t), ‘Mallory, that’s actually a painfully unoriginal idea. Haven’t you heard of Mystery Science Theater 3000, or Television Without Pity?’, to which I reply, ‘Yes, I have, and it’s 2013, nothing is original anymore so please stop talking forever.’

I’d also like to spend another post each week going over something ridiculous that happened to me that week. I seem to encounter a lot of crazies in my life, and tend to find myself in a lot of absurd situations. Some by choice because I’m a moron, and some not so much because, well, I don’t know.

As for a third theme? Haven’t quite decided, but I’ll get back to you on that, BUT I GUESS THAT GIVES YOU AN INCENTIVE TO COME BACK AND READ THIS, NOW DOESN’T IT?

Have a nice day.



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2 thoughts on ““Lower your expectations” – Me, when introducing myself to most people.

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